So... it's been a while. I blame my schedule. And my emoness which seems to have ebbed for a time. Which is nice.
1 bagel
1 non-fat sugarless vanilla steamer
1 cup of garden vegetable soup
1 half sandwich of tuna salad on honey wheat
2 (*wince*) chocolate pastries
1 personal pizza
180 calories of Sprite
A couple mugs of tea
Two people lately have commented on me having lost weight! WIN.
And I bought a ton of new hair stuff so I can do my hair and feel preeeetty. And a guy on my birthday when I was at Old Navy winked at me when he came up to me and asked if I needed any help. And today, a cute guy at Panera opened up both of the doors for me. And I won five dollars with a scratch ticket card. So what if I'm still fifteen dollars in the whole? lol.
THERE, OLIVIA. I BLOGGED :P
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Day 89
1 bagel
1 vanilla steamer
2 pieces of admittedly sub-par fish (school lunch, eh)
1 probably-filled-with-fat delicious cookie
1 lollipop
1 red velvet (a la Ms. Sales, my awesome law teacher) cupcake
1 piece of chocolate caramel... Hershey thing
2 cupcakes (a la Kassandra)
1 chocolate milk
1 240-calorie "Think Thin" bar
Lots of water
1 500-something-calorie turkey and havarti sandwich
A few mouthfuls of Diet Coke
... not exactly a good day, lol, but it was the last day of school before Midwinter break (HOO-RAH) and Chase's birthday and two days from my birthday. So I'm rather okay with it. And I actually had a really good day for once in a long while, haha. Chase really liked the balloons and my gift and my card. There was a sticker in it, though, so that might be why, lol. And Mrs. Lucking told me that she thought I would be happy wherever I went because I would make it work because I have a positive attitude :) Yay. That kind of made my day because she's LUCKING and therefore awesome.
Oh, and I'm currently in love with Anderson Cooper. I have this great idea for an Anderson/Keith (Olbermann) fic. So they've been together for about two years, but Anderson just came back from a horrifying time out in the field, and he breaks up with Keith, for lack of something better to do to cope with everything that's happening inside of him. Then Jon and Stephen kidnap him and take him to his favorite restaurant, a jazz bar, and one of Stephen's old Dartmouth friends is singing. The three have great conversation as the singer sings "Straighten Up and Fly Right" and other jazz favorites. Then conversation lulls a bit as the singer starts "Where Do You Start?"
Anderson gets wet eyes and feels like he's dying.
Jon, in a sexy manly moment, rests his hand on Anderson's arm as the other man tries not to cry (he's in love with Keith, after all).
Jon and Stephen get Anderson home, and he has a long scene of pondering everything, what happened out in the field, Keith, his own insecurities, Keith's shortcomings, and every memory he has of Keith. He breaks into his stash of bourbon. Then in a Lady Antebellum-esque moment, being a little drunk but needing Keith, he calls him and leaves a long message, since Keith is asleep, it being a quarter past one (hehe, song lyrics)
But I don't know if I feel comfortable enough with Keith's character to really do anything with him. I want the story to resolve happily, though, because Anderson's just sad and needs some serious love to get through this latest exhaustion.
But yeah. Good day. Birthday on Sunday. Gonna be 18. Can now have sex with whomever self desires if "whomever self desires" is also over 18. Good stuff.
1 vanilla steamer
2 pieces of admittedly sub-par fish (school lunch, eh)
1 probably-filled-with-fat delicious cookie
1 lollipop
1 red velvet (a la Ms. Sales, my awesome law teacher) cupcake
1 piece of chocolate caramel... Hershey thing
2 cupcakes (a la Kassandra)
1 chocolate milk
1 240-calorie "Think Thin" bar
Lots of water
1 500-something-calorie turkey and havarti sandwich
A few mouthfuls of Diet Coke
... not exactly a good day, lol, but it was the last day of school before Midwinter break (HOO-RAH) and Chase's birthday and two days from my birthday. So I'm rather okay with it. And I actually had a really good day for once in a long while, haha. Chase really liked the balloons and my gift and my card. There was a sticker in it, though, so that might be why, lol. And Mrs. Lucking told me that she thought I would be happy wherever I went because I would make it work because I have a positive attitude :) Yay. That kind of made my day because she's LUCKING and therefore awesome.
Oh, and I'm currently in love with Anderson Cooper. I have this great idea for an Anderson/Keith (Olbermann) fic. So they've been together for about two years, but Anderson just came back from a horrifying time out in the field, and he breaks up with Keith, for lack of something better to do to cope with everything that's happening inside of him. Then Jon and Stephen kidnap him and take him to his favorite restaurant, a jazz bar, and one of Stephen's old Dartmouth friends is singing. The three have great conversation as the singer sings "Straighten Up and Fly Right" and other jazz favorites. Then conversation lulls a bit as the singer starts "Where Do You Start?"
Anderson gets wet eyes and feels like he's dying.
Jon, in a sexy manly moment, rests his hand on Anderson's arm as the other man tries not to cry (he's in love with Keith, after all).
Jon and Stephen get Anderson home, and he has a long scene of pondering everything, what happened out in the field, Keith, his own insecurities, Keith's shortcomings, and every memory he has of Keith. He breaks into his stash of bourbon. Then in a Lady Antebellum-esque moment, being a little drunk but needing Keith, he calls him and leaves a long message, since Keith is asleep, it being a quarter past one (hehe, song lyrics)
But I don't know if I feel comfortable enough with Keith's character to really do anything with him. I want the story to resolve happily, though, because Anderson's just sad and needs some serious love to get through this latest exhaustion.
But yeah. Good day. Birthday on Sunday. Gonna be 18. Can now have sex with whomever self desires if "whomever self desires" is also over 18. Good stuff.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Day 85
2 Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuits
3/4 of a large orange juice
Approx. 1 apple
3/4 bag of Lays Original Chips
1 tall glass of milk
1 mug of Tension Tamer tea
Today was crap again. Fourth period is killing me these days, and I LOVE CHOIR. I love music. I love singing. But the majority of the alto section doesn't seem to fucking care, and it makes me not want to care because what's the point if no one else wants to work and make our section really good? What's even the point? And I feel bad for Spencer because he was working with us today, and everyone just kept chattering inanely >_> I'm so done with them. But chilling with Spencer a bit was fun. And he and Morgan are fun to have in third period.
I just feel sad and lost and lonely and forgotten. Bleck. I hate my life right now.
3/4 of a large orange juice
Approx. 1 apple
3/4 bag of Lays Original Chips
1 tall glass of milk
1 mug of Tension Tamer tea
Today was crap again. Fourth period is killing me these days, and I LOVE CHOIR. I love music. I love singing. But the majority of the alto section doesn't seem to fucking care, and it makes me not want to care because what's the point if no one else wants to work and make our section really good? What's even the point? And I feel bad for Spencer because he was working with us today, and everyone just kept chattering inanely >_> I'm so done with them. But chilling with Spencer a bit was fun. And he and Morgan are fun to have in third period.
I just feel sad and lost and lonely and forgotten. Bleck. I hate my life right now.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Day whatever-I-said-it-was-during-the-last-post
Today I've had...
1 bowl of Cheerios
1 bagel
1 16-oz strawberry ice cream smoothie
1 large salad
3 demi baguettes with butter
1 grande vanilla steamer
I think that's it.
Not great, and I think I'm riding this high of having lost eight pounds. In reality, that's not that much, considering how much more I want to lose, and that's no reason to go overboard with food. But it's the weekend, and it's always easier during the week.
As for my anxiety, I think it's getting better with enough sleep and healthy food and drinking enough water and knowing there are things I can do to make myself feel better. I think going to the doctor's and listening to the doctor tell me what I should do helped, too. And I also think I REALLY needed last Thursday off and all of the retail therapy and all of the support from my friends. I need to find someone I can really confide in, though, even for the stupid little "I feel anxious right now about X and I don't really know why" moments I have all of the time.
Btw, my Tension Tamer tea is delicious, and I think it's helping a bit. Which is good.
So today, I cleaned my room up and did a bunch of laundry, including my bed linens, which is soooo nice, lol. I love the smell of clean sheets and blankets and pillows. It made me feel lighter and less cluttered inside, too. I went to Issaquah and found Chase's gift, too. Two books, so I don't really know if he'll like them... but I'm doing more on his actual birthday. Yay for surprises that are pretty predictable and almost expected! x_x I'm a bad friend.
No, no, I'm not. Ugh, I have to stop this negative talk. I always say that stuff, and it's not true, but it's become habit.
I bought new bras, and I'm not one to brag, but my rack is awesome XD
Um... yeah. So far, I'm feeling pretty good. This weekend has been really relaxing for me, partly because I didn't really do any homework or anything, except what I wanted to do. Except for work, but that was only four hours, and I get a lot of money from it. Speaking of which, I need to deposit my check sometime. I might do it next week. I don't have much time to do stuff during the week because of school. School makes me a little anxious, but it's less OMG-GONNA-FUCKING-DIE than it was before. Which is good. I consider that progress.
I feel kind of sad, though. I don't know why. And kind of alone.
And I keep thinking about my crush and listening to music that I've put into a playlist where every song makes me think about him. It's lame XD And I don't even know if I even really like him. He's my best friend. My BEST friend. I love him, but I don't know if I love-love him or even really like him in that way. And he's so confusing and frustrating because when he's around this guyfriend of his, they're like fricken lovers, and I feel like the third wheel. And I don't like that. Even if his guyfriend (who's also my friend, don't get me wrong) is great.
Le sigh.
We'll see how tomorrow goes.
1 bowl of Cheerios
1 bagel
1 16-oz strawberry ice cream smoothie
1 large salad
3 demi baguettes with butter
1 grande vanilla steamer
I think that's it.
Not great, and I think I'm riding this high of having lost eight pounds. In reality, that's not that much, considering how much more I want to lose, and that's no reason to go overboard with food. But it's the weekend, and it's always easier during the week.
As for my anxiety, I think it's getting better with enough sleep and healthy food and drinking enough water and knowing there are things I can do to make myself feel better. I think going to the doctor's and listening to the doctor tell me what I should do helped, too. And I also think I REALLY needed last Thursday off and all of the retail therapy and all of the support from my friends. I need to find someone I can really confide in, though, even for the stupid little "I feel anxious right now about X and I don't really know why" moments I have all of the time.
Btw, my Tension Tamer tea is delicious, and I think it's helping a bit. Which is good.
So today, I cleaned my room up and did a bunch of laundry, including my bed linens, which is soooo nice, lol. I love the smell of clean sheets and blankets and pillows. It made me feel lighter and less cluttered inside, too. I went to Issaquah and found Chase's gift, too. Two books, so I don't really know if he'll like them... but I'm doing more on his actual birthday. Yay for surprises that are pretty predictable and almost expected! x_x I'm a bad friend.
No, no, I'm not. Ugh, I have to stop this negative talk. I always say that stuff, and it's not true, but it's become habit.
I bought new bras, and I'm not one to brag, but my rack is awesome XD
Um... yeah. So far, I'm feeling pretty good. This weekend has been really relaxing for me, partly because I didn't really do any homework or anything, except what I wanted to do. Except for work, but that was only four hours, and I get a lot of money from it. Speaking of which, I need to deposit my check sometime. I might do it next week. I don't have much time to do stuff during the week because of school. School makes me a little anxious, but it's less OMG-GONNA-FUCKING-DIE than it was before. Which is good. I consider that progress.
I feel kind of sad, though. I don't know why. And kind of alone.
And I keep thinking about my crush and listening to music that I've put into a playlist where every song makes me think about him. It's lame XD And I don't even know if I even really like him. He's my best friend. My BEST friend. I love him, but I don't know if I love-love him or even really like him in that way. And he's so confusing and frustrating because when he's around this guyfriend of his, they're like fricken lovers, and I feel like the third wheel. And I don't like that. Even if his guyfriend (who's also my friend, don't get me wrong) is great.
Le sigh.
We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Day 84
I've eaten nothing yet today; it's only 8:20 am and I'm taking a bath and reading my new favorite fic of all time. It's called "Belonging" and it's this really interesting AU where people can be slaves but its modern-time. It's also Keith/Anderson, my second all-time favorite OTP.
So I went to the doctor's for my anxiety and found out that, since I was last there, I've lost eight pounds! :) Victory.
But other than that, I have nothing to report. Except I've been watching Pokemon lately, and that is just flippin' awesome.
So I went to the doctor's for my anxiety and found out that, since I was last there, I've lost eight pounds! :) Victory.
But other than that, I have nothing to report. Except I've been watching Pokemon lately, and that is just flippin' awesome.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Day 79
The last post was supposed to be 78, btw...
2 Eggo Waffles
A few bites of a bagel
1 chicken sandwich (just chicken and the bun)
1 chocolate milk
1 bag of Sun Chips (140 calories)
1/2 glass of milk
1 Caramel Nut Brownie Luna bar
Today was shit. Enough said.
2 Eggo Waffles
A few bites of a bagel
1 chicken sandwich (just chicken and the bun)
1 chocolate milk
1 bag of Sun Chips (140 calories)
1/2 glass of milk
1 Caramel Nut Brownie Luna bar
Today was shit. Enough said.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Day 73
4 Eggo Waffles
2 corndogs
1 chocolate milk
2 Caramel Nut Brownie Luna Bars
1 blueberry tea
1 grape Jolly-Rancher
I'm pretty sure that's it... I just haven't felt like eating tonight because I've been a little stressed out, but I've been trying to relax, so maybe I'll eat in a little bit. I think I'm losing weight, though, because normally, I put my belt at the third thing, but now, I'm regularly putting it on the fourth and feeling comfortable there. So... results are good. And I feel more comfortable with my body (sometimes, lol). I like the basic shape of my body. So... progress? Maybe.
Good things about my life: my friends, my family (sort of), my school, my teachers, my future, my potential, singing, reading, books, writing, Facebook, Stephen/Jon (my new OTP), my brains, my hair, my ability to be nice and say nice things, my upbeat attitude which is around most of the time, the fact I don't seem to take myself too seriously, my humility.
2 corndogs
1 chocolate milk
2 Caramel Nut Brownie Luna Bars
1 blueberry tea
1 grape Jolly-Rancher
I'm pretty sure that's it... I just haven't felt like eating tonight because I've been a little stressed out, but I've been trying to relax, so maybe I'll eat in a little bit. I think I'm losing weight, though, because normally, I put my belt at the third thing, but now, I'm regularly putting it on the fourth and feeling comfortable there. So... results are good. And I feel more comfortable with my body (sometimes, lol). I like the basic shape of my body. So... progress? Maybe.
Good things about my life: my friends, my family (sort of), my school, my teachers, my future, my potential, singing, reading, books, writing, Facebook, Stephen/Jon (my new OTP), my brains, my hair, my ability to be nice and say nice things, my upbeat attitude which is around most of the time, the fact I don't seem to take myself too seriously, my humility.
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