Day whatever-I-said-it-was-during-the-last-post

Today I've had...

1 bowl of Cheerios
1 bagel
1 16-oz strawberry ice cream smoothie
1 large salad
3 demi baguettes with butter
1 grande vanilla steamer

I think that's it.

Not great, and I think I'm riding this high of having lost eight pounds. In reality, that's not that much, considering how much more I want to lose, and that's no reason to go overboard with food. But it's the weekend, and it's always easier during the week.

As for my anxiety, I think it's getting better with enough sleep and healthy food and drinking enough water and knowing there are things I can do to make myself feel better. I think going to the doctor's and listening to the doctor tell me what I should do helped, too. And I also think I REALLY needed last Thursday off and all of the retail therapy and all of the support from my friends. I need to find someone I can really confide in, though, even for the stupid little "I feel anxious right now about X and I don't really know why" moments I have all of the time.

Btw, my Tension Tamer tea is delicious, and I think it's helping a bit. Which is good.

So today, I cleaned my room up and did a bunch of laundry, including my bed linens, which is soooo nice, lol. I love the smell of clean sheets and blankets and pillows. It made me feel lighter and less cluttered inside, too. I went to Issaquah and found Chase's gift, too. Two books, so I don't really know if he'll like them... but I'm doing more on his actual birthday. Yay for surprises that are pretty predictable and almost expected! x_x I'm a bad friend.

No, no, I'm not. Ugh, I have to stop this negative talk. I always say that stuff, and it's not true, but it's become habit.

I bought new bras, and I'm not one to brag, but my rack is awesome XD

Um... yeah. So far, I'm feeling pretty good. This weekend has been really relaxing for me, partly because I didn't really do any homework or anything, except what I wanted to do. Except for work, but that was only four hours, and I get a lot of money from it. Speaking of which, I need to deposit my check sometime. I might do it next week. I don't have much time to do stuff during the week because of school. School makes me a little anxious, but it's less OMG-GONNA-FUCKING-DIE than it was before. Which is good. I consider that progress.

I feel kind of sad, though. I don't know why. And kind of alone.

And I keep thinking about my crush and listening to music that I've put into a playlist where every song makes me think about him. It's lame XD And I don't even know if I even really like him. He's my best friend. My BEST friend. I love him, but I don't know if I love-love him or even really like him in that way. And he's so confusing and frustrating because when he's around this guyfriend of his, they're like fricken lovers, and I feel like the third wheel. And I don't like that. Even if his guyfriend (who's also my friend, don't get me wrong) is great.

Le sigh.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.