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2 pieces of toast with butter, sugar, and cinnamon
1 mug of tea
1 mug of hot chocolate
1 mug of milk
A small cup of milk
1 bowl of chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes

So... I'm about to start my period, so I just want to eat everything in sight. GUYS HAVE IT SO MUCH EASIER! Their metabolisms are crazy fast, AND they don't have to deal with their hormones prompting them to eat, eat, eat sugary things and a lot of everything! It's really unfair. Add that to the fact girls have to have the babies inside of them and then push them out, and what the hell, biology?!

You know, though, I've been thinking a lot lately about sex. Teenagers (boys AND girls, don't fall into stupid stereotypes that have never been true!) think about sex a lot, but I've been thinking about whether or not I want to have sex before marriage. A couple months ago, if you had asked me, I would have been, like, heck, I'm waiting! But now, I'm not so sure.

I'm not religious anymore. Being a rational, thinking, logical person, I don't see how there could be an afterlife because when it comes down to it, everything we are is merely the result of electrical impulses in our brain. That's it. But at the same time, I don't really believe that, I think there is an afterlife, but it's not straight out of Christian theology anymore.

Anyway, because I don't have religious dogma dictating my actions, I'm not sure what to think about sex. Granted, it would take me a while to get to that point of being comfortable enough with a guy, considering I'm prudish and uncomfortable and insecure and rather scared of sex (yeah, I know, weird), but what if there was someone I trusted and loved in a way I felt comfortable with? Would it be wrong for me to have sex with them?

And I'm not talking now, because I'm not stupid. I don't want any nasty diseases or a baby to carry around because nothing, not even vaguely pleasurable, rather disappointing teenage sex would tempt me from my life plans. I have a lot more important things to do with myself now and in the future than some teenage boy. But in college, what if I wanted to experiment? What if I met a guy I fell head over heels for? Would it be wrong?

And why do I think sex before marriage is wrong, anyway? I think most of that belief comes from the idea that sex is supposed to be between a husband and a wife. Well, no, not really. Sex is between two adults so they can make babies. It's a plus that sex can feel good. I think sex CAN be very special and can be reserved between a married/committed couple, but sex can also be just fun and for feeling good.

And will I feel like a ho if I do? Will I have enough respect for myself to be able to make this decision because -I- want to make the decision and not because I'm being told what to do by some set of morals that were handed to me?

But not even just all-the-way penetrative sex, what about before that? Is losing articles of clothing okay? I don't know.

Anyway, sorry about that, I've just been thinking about it for a while, trying to figure out what I think.