Day 12

I told myself I wasn't going to try and estimate all of my calories because it's bad, but... *sigh*

630 +

Lasanga - 400
Cookies - 700

So yeah, we end up at around 1730, but it's probably more but whatever.

I feel like a failure today. I woke UP feeling sad and down, and my day didn't get that much better. I feel pathetic and like a loser. I haven't done anything for the past week or so. I haven't even left the house. Except I don't have any money to spend, and anywhere I would go would require spending money or eating food, and I don't want to do either.

I wish I could just stop eating and lose weight that way. Yeah, yeah, it's not healthy and whatever, but I just feel like crap. I mean, I guess I'm starting to look different, but... I feel like a loser. Like, once I get to college, I'll suddenly change and no one will want to be my friend. Like everyone will think I'm an absolute loser for loving Jon/Stephen and AVPM/AVPS and fanfiction and crazy things that I do love.

And it's not like...

I don't know. I just feel like I'm not good enough.