Frustration

Fuuuuuuuuuuck x_x My mom keeps saying she wants a brownie, and it feels like I'm craving a hit of a narcotic or something x___________x I'm not hungry right now because I just ate oatmeal, and I'm going to have some more water later to preserve the feeling of fullness, but GAAAAAH.

My family knows I'm trying to lose weight and be healthier, and yet, they don't make a concentrated, solid, consistent effort to help me out. I'm not asking all of them to lose weight, I just want there to be better food around. Granted, the last couple of days, I've been craving everything, and we've had frozen yogurt and there are microwaveable brownies in the freezer (had one earlier), but seriously. I want to lose weight. I don't want to weigh this much all of my life. And I'm young right now, so it'll be easier, and I have an entire month of free time ahead of me. So, feasibly, I could lose ten pounds. Even more, if I really put some effort into it. Well, even ten pounds won't be easy. But still.

It's just frustrating because all of this from my family isn't helping. And nothing I say will stick. It'll work for a few days, maybe a week, but then they'll just forget again and go back to their bad habits. And I've learned my bad habits from them, but that's no excuse because I'm eighteen now, I'm a fully-functioning, reasonable, rational, logical adult, so I can change my own habits and live my own life. But it's hard. They're toxic surroundings, I'll tell ya.

Tomorrow, I am going to walk for at least forty minutes. I'll just rewatch old episodes of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show. Maybe the TDS episode with Denis Leary and some clips of Jason Jones and Sam Bee <3 The one about the census!

But I need to get up early, around eight or nine, before the heat sets in. Heh. That'll be the day. I don't know. I NEED to do this, but I don't even really want to. And it's hard. And it sucks. And my family sucks right now. x_x