GOOOOOOOOOOOALS.

Olivia suggested we write about our goals, so here are mine:

1. Lose one dress size.
2. Make a habit of having more fruits and vegetables.
3. Take the stairs and park further away so I walk more.
4. Wear clothes that flatter me and make me feel good
5. Not make catty comments about the way other people look in my head
6. Compliment at least ten people everyday.
7. Give myself compliments.
8. Have a positive attitude.

I will admit that losing weight is my main goal here... I do want to be healthy. I want to focus on being healthy because, no matter what anyone says, being healthy is more important than being skinny, but I can't help it -- I'm vapid and shallow. I want to have that sexy figure that guys want. More than that, however, I want to have that sexy figure so I'll FEEL sexy. I just... I wish guys wanted me. I'm a great friend, but I'm never the girlfriend. I just don't feel like I'm the kind of person who gets to fall in love, and part of that's because of my weight.

I feel like I have so much potential, that I'm meant to be so much, but everything I've imagined for myself doesn't include me being fat. But I feel like that's wrong, that I shouldn't feel like I should change, but I do feel that way. When I think of the woman I want to be, that woman isn't fat. She's trim and petite and extremely intelligent and stunning. She stands out. As it is, I stand out, too, but not in the way I want to stand out. No one would care to see that I'm a borderline genius [/ego] because all they see is the fat and the extra pounds and the bulges and the belly and the huge thighs.

So, it's this huge dichotomy. I want people to see me for my brains, for my talents, but I also want to be attractive.

>.<

I should probably head off to bed -- A Tale of Two Cities is calling.