Pessimism

UGH. So... I was all excited. But then I realized I was eating way more calories than I thought I was with these little snacks throughout the day. Granted, I don't have any real idea how many calories I'm burning, I think I burn 1800 just because of my body digesting and breathing and stuff, so I haven't lost any weight unless I do exercise. UGH. Now I'm all frustrated and angry. Why can't I just eat less? I mean, I know that if I go all the way down to 1200 calories, my body will go into starvation mode and won't lose weight because it'll think I'm starving, but UGH.

I just thought I was doing better than I am. And I just got myself with all of these raised hopes, and I should be more realistic, and it's GOING to be a lot of hard work, but still... Maybe I'm being ridiculous, but it's a little saddening. Never mind, I burn 1726 calories without doing anything on top of it. THAT'S EVEN WORSE. I hate being short...

WAIT. WAIT. I'm computing my calories burnt. This might make me feel better.

284 - watching 3 hrs of TV (that's not counting my irregular exercise during)
181 - walking forty minutes (I'm counting the hour of standing in choir as part of that walking)
284 - 3 hrs of watching teachers (that's like TV)

749 calories burnt approx. If I've eaten 1800 today but burnt 749, that means I'm keeping 1151 calories. But I burn 1726 calories just living, so that means I have 500 and some change that I've burnt in total. That's really good. So if I eat dinner and watch some more TV and exercise and run up and down the stairs a couple times, I'll probably have burnt 400 calories. UGH. Not good enough! I want to lose more weight!! Nowwwww [/whine]

I can't believe I'm getting so discouraged, but I am. :( I don't even need encouragement right now, I just need to be better at this weight loss stuff. I just fail badly sometimes.

Not to mention that I forgot a Luna bar that I ate, I think. UGH. *headdesk*